You can’t imagine it, Jessie J remarks. At that moment gearing up for her first album release in nearly a decade, ecstatically in love with her current love, and at long last the parent to a young child after struggling to conceive for a decade, feeling invincible. Then in spring she was found to have a breast cancer diagnosis.
The musician, actual name J. Cornish, is known for speaking her mind. The record, Don’t Tease Me With a Good Time, was supposed to be an transparent story, tackling every bit of hardship she’d endured since she last made an album (endometrial issues, pregnancy loss, failed relationships, emotional abuse, suicide) with her usual frankness. The initial release, her single No Secrets, was launched in the spring. But by then there existed a huge secret. The illness. Later second single, Living My Best Life, came out in late spring and the artist was speaking publicly about how she was thriving, while all the while living with her cancer. Four weeks after she shared the news, and in July she had a mastectomy.
She shoots me her best “Seriously?” glance. “I put out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m doing every press talk, and they inquire, ‘Any updates?’ and I respond, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” the singer has just had to cancel tour dates because she’s still waiting for cosmetic procedures.
We meet at a photography studio in the capital. She is sporting a tan faux-leather coat, jeans with ornate white designs, beige footwear and oversized specs. Think biker chic meets vintage look. “It seems like I’m in the 70s and I should have a man with facial hair.” Like the film, I say, recalling the film. “That’s what people called me at school!” She beams. She is fast-thinking, unfiltered and direct. She says she has always fancied doing comedy and is hoping to make her initial standup show next year. “I love making people laugh. On stage I often tease the audience.”
Health Struggles and Diagnosis
She was preparing for an appearance at the Baftas when she noticed an abnormality. “I immediately went to get it examined, had an ultrasound, and they told me, ‘It seems benign; you’ve got really good dense breast tissue.’ And I responded, ‘But I can feel it. My arm hurts and tingling in my hands whenever I wake up.’ And they replied, ‘We should biopsy it?’ That was 28 March, the day after my birthday.” It was a Friday. The physician told her if it was bad news she’d contact on the Monday. By then she had assured herself it was okay. The way she tells it, it was just bad timing to receive a diagnosis when she had a busy schedule.
“Just two weeks before from launching this thing after years away and four years without a single. And the doctor messaged and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I thought, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I jump on the Zoom thinking it’s all going to be positive, and she goes, ‘Are you sitting down?.’ That sympathetic voice? And she continues, ‘I regret to inform you but your test results have shown aggressive cancer.’” What was your reaction? “I replied, ‘That’s unfortunate. What awful timing.’ My initial thought was, ‘I have to survive for my boy.’”
I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself
She considered the operation terrifying and absurd. “I fear going under. They lead you. During crises you are wheeled, but this time I just walked with a gown on and my backside out. Like a dystopian scene.” But, she adds, she’s been lucky. No chemo, no radiotherapy, just the procedure. “It’s terrible, but however Luckily it was detected early. I had the mastectomy four months ago and my affected breast now looks like a odd shape.” Another grin. “The nipple was preserved.”
The follow-up procedure is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her boobs, she remarks, are now “uneven. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. So inconsiderate! I thought, don’t add insult to injury, I’m already having a rough time. Such disrespect! Ironically I said I’d never get my boobs done because I’ve got OCD, and I know they’d never be flawless. My plans were disrupted.”
Previous Struggles
Cornish is familiar with health problems. She feels her outlook on her diagnosis has been so optimistic because she’s familiar with health crises. Many times they occur alongside professional successes, acting as a reminder, or shock, to make her recall not to take anything for granted. “Frankly, I feel life goes, ‘Enjoying yourself? Hold on.’ Since childhood, it has consistently accompanied high points for me; a major or strange event has impacted my body.”
She recalls to her 11-year-old self, already making her debut performing in the London theater in Whistle Down the Wind (she was chosen at the age of 9). That’s when she was found to have the heart condition a syndrome, which can cause a fast heartbeat as well as dizziness and heart flutters. “I was going in and out of rehearsals on an drip, and returning to the hospital at night.” She skips forward half a dozen years, and teenage Jess has joined the girl group Soul Deep while attending the academy. “I secured a deal, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was planning to release songs in recently I had a collision and my larynx moved up and I lost my voice for a twelve months.”
Hey, I say, hold on, I need a moment. A stroke so young? She nods|agrees
